Rules by Which We Play

And now for the boring — but non-optional — bit. There may be a quiz later, and you can get extra points for passing on the first try.

First Date:

Meet-and-greet in a public setting. No sex.

Safe Sex:

Always, for everything (anal, oral, vaginal, navel). We generally have on hand:

– Condoms (various sizes, types, and flavors)

– Female Condoms

– Dental Dams

– Gloves (Latex or Nitrile)

Fetishes:

WS/Scat/Kids/Animals/Blood/Pain/Pregnancy: Not just no, but HELL NO.

Restraint/Bondage/Rope: OK, but not right off.

Dom/Sub Play: See Roleplaying, below.

S&M: Mostly not interested. We are not into receiving pain, though she might be willing to give pain.

Role Playing:

We are not much into Role Playing, but have nothing against it. It just seems like a silly thing to do. Perhaps we are doing it wrong, but we are already talking about bisexual group sex, and layering on “The Princess And The Two Italian Plumbers” seems like unnecessary overkill. Along the same lines, we do not really get into D/S play. Sure, on person may be a top and another a bottom, but that is more about how we feel at the moment rather than an assigned role. Things like humiliation and servitude just sort of annoy us; if you want your boots shined by naked people, it would be best to look elsewhere.

Safewords:

When we use “No,” “Uh uh,” “Stop,” “Get the fuck off of me,” and similar words, we mean those words. Unless you tell us otherwise, we will assume that you also mean those words when you use them. If you use code words, then please inform us.

Lifestyle Choices:

No Smokers: We are both very sensitive to odors, and that of cigarettes is more pervasive than you might think (especially if you are a smoker or live with a smoker).

No Drinking on The Job: We generally do not partake, and we are fine with social drinkers, but will not play with those under the influence.

No Altered States: If you are — or appear to be — intoxicated, buzzed, high, snozzled, or otherwise under the influence of any substance for any reason, we are not going to play.

Children: If you have children, then leave them at home. If you are hosting, then send them away (and not just down the street). We do not play in places where children are, can be seen, can be heard, or might barge in at any moment. We can always host if necessary.

Medical Concerns:

Allergies: We are allergic to onions and grass. Please do not eat a grass sandwich and roll around in an onion field before visiting. If you have allergies, then know that we have cats, dogs, dust, and latex products. If you have any other allergies that might be a concern, then let us know up front.