This was originally a comment in response to Couple Privilege: Your Thoughts? on SoloPoly.net. If you have not read that post (or the blog in general), then I recommend you do so! The blog overall looks at polyamory from the perspective of someone not in a “primary” relationship, and the post discussed various problems with couple privilege. Since polyamory has traditionally been presented from the perspective of “couple exploring while wanting to protect their existing relationship,” this serves as a real reminder that polyamory is about individuals loving other people, not about couples dictating how a third can best accommodate them.
The post requested reactions to and views on couple privilege. I agree with the original post that couple privilege is an insidious and harmful issue, but feel that there should be some recognition of the risks inherent in being a “primary” partner. The following is my comment on that post.
Continue reading “Primary Partnership Risks”
Some lazy dip (who could not be bothered to fully read my OKCupid profile) sent me a question about SwingBot and me. He asked about SwingBot’s comfort level with polyamory, never bothering to visit SwingBot’s profile and get the information there. Normally, I would have just deleted the message without replying, but I have been trying to answer my messages lately.
Continue reading “Blank Profile for “Discretion””
While preparing a dog dinner Saturday night, I asked SwingBot, “What do non-monogamy and owning dogs have in common?”
Without hesitation, he replied, “You run into a lot of bitches.”
After a zinger like that, my serious thoughts felt like a real letdown.
Continue reading “Clear Communication”
Recent articles on Polyamory Weekly and SoloPoly have me thinking about one very important difference between good swinger practices and good polyamory practices: veto power. For a good and safe swinging experience, a couple would do well to employ veto power. In polyamory, though, veto power should be exercised with caution, if at all.
Continue reading “Veto Power”
I saw your ad/profile and thought that we’d make a great fit. We seem to share a lot of interests/experiences/preferences and I’d love to chat sometime.
Continue reading “But I’m Exceptional”
Warning: This is a really long gushing over a comic.
Many people cite Robert A. Heinlein stories (particularly Stranger in A Strange Land) as their introduction to the concept of ethical non-monogamy. My introduction to the idea was also fiction: Wendy Pini’s ElfQuest series.
Continue reading “ElfQuest”
I have been listening to Polyamory Weekly, a podcast by Cunning Minx. She has a great speaking voice and plans her podcasts (too many podcasters just ramble), so I find them enjoyable listening. Also, she discusses matters important to polyamory, which, as she and other poly folk often note, are matters important to any form of relationship.
Continue reading “Letting Jealousy Have Power”
Talking about sex can be surprisingly difficult sometimes, particularly when stating what one wants. This issue came up on this Wednesday’s play date.
Continue reading “Not A Mind Reader”
When deciding to get into swinging, we signed up for multiple sites, some based on search results and some based on recommendations. One site that we did not try, despite having it recommended to us, was CraigsList.
Continue reading “Why Not CraigsList”