Penis-Armed Winged Boobed Elf-Thing

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I ought to be horribly ashamed.

Nearly four months ago, I promised to return in six weeks. Not only did I let that slide, but my only sign of life during that time was whining about losing a free service.

Worse, I finally come to you… with this ugly thing. What is it? It is what happens when a goofball asks an artist with an attitude for a silly illustration. For the record, the penises for arms were **not** my idea, nor was the full-frontal smiley face.

Domly Dom

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When I sketched this, I may have been feeling a bit snide about the abundance of straight male Domly-Top-Lord-Dom-Master-Doms on FetLife with profile pictures in which they scowl.

No, I do not apologize for it.

Ow Face

One morning, I stood washing dishes for so long that I failed to notice my left knee lock. (In related news, I really want a service-oriented submissive or slave who might be open to also being a masochist in play.) When I finished and turned around to approach SwingBot, I noticed the stiffness of my knee and muttered a quiet “Ow,” mostly expressing the word through my face. SwingBot surprised me by giving me a light kiss on the lips that seemed to come from nowhere.

Continue reading “Ow Face”

Pizza Delivery Porn

Last Tuesday, after his leftovers caught fire in the oven, SwingBot ordered a pizza for dinner.

As I washed dishes, he approached me from behind and said, “I want to take down your pants and do you from behind right here. But, I have a pizza coming, and the person will just drive right up and see us. Hey, maybe the delivery person is a hot bi co-ed… and could come see us… and, with the pizza, we could get free pepper spray.”