I saw your ad/profile and thought that we’d make a great fit. We seem to share a lot of interests/experiences/preferences and I’d love to chat sometime.
I did notice that you stated “No underwater basket weavers.” Now, I am an underwater basket weaver, and I do not know/care why you stated that preference, but you should make an exception for me. You see, I am an incredibly awesome person and your life would be vastly improved if you stopped being so narrow-minded and let an underwater basket weaver like me be a part of it.
I know nothing about you beyond your list of preferences — which I choose to ignore because they exclude me — but we really would be great together. After all, I know what role I want you to play in my life, and how I want you to play it. You just need to conform to my preferences and we’ll get along fine. Otherwise, you are a close-minded bitch who will never find anyone or ever be happy.
Your New Dom/Sub/Lover/Partner