SwingBot and I are both bisexual. Some years ago, we openly discussed this and related topics, such as whether we would each have same-sex partners. We had broached the concept of a MMF threesome before. In fact, when we first started dating, SwingBot arranged a sort-of MFM threesome with a friend of his and me; the friend and I had sex while SwingBot watched us and touched me. We long ago agreed that we would like to try a MMF threesome again and neither of us really wanted a FFM threesome. However, trying threesomes was not a high priority until recently.
Within the past month or so, SwingBot and I have started looking for potential swinging partners. We want various possibilities, but primarily are interested in having sex with same-sex partners and MMF threesomes.
However, MM is apparently deviant, even to swingers. Our searches so far tell us that swinging focuses on either swapping into MF pairings or FFM threesomes, precisely things that do not interest us. There are swingers clubs in our areas and they almost uniformly focus on M-straight F-bisexual couples and single bisexual women. They have rules in which members must come as a MF couple, a FF couple, or a single F; single Ms and MM couples are not allowed or must jump through extra hoops. In the clubs that do allow MM activity, such activity is “behind closed doors,” while MF, FF, and FFM activity is openly encouraged.
This expectation that “swinging” mostly means FFM threesomes or MF pairings — and that MM should be discreet — does not extend to just clubs. In profiles and ads, MF couples seem to overwhelmingly be M-straight and F-bi/curious. Also, many men — single or in couples — identify as straight in their profiles. Our own profiles, in which we identify as M-bi F-bi and note that we have no use for straight partners, have gotten plenty of responses from straight single men and M-straight F-bi couples who say in their messages to us that the men actually are bi. Which are we to believe: their profiles or their “I/we wanna boff you” messages?
In any case, we are apparently deviant to the deviants. Fantastic.