SwingBot: Got to get down to swing town

SwingBot is the M half of this duet, who occasionally contributes inane guest-posts to this blog.

One of the things we looked at a lot were swing clubs. There’s a couple in the area, and some are obviously nicer than others. One looks like somebody’s basement, while another has oak lockers and a sprinkler system. They all seem to be variations of pillows, beds, and cushions scattered around on which to publicly gyrate. There are also smaller areas built right in with curtains, so you could slip inside with someone and then someone can slip inside.

Apparently, from what we gather by talking to members and the club owners (we haven’t been ourselves, so please tell me if there are clubs that don’t operate this way), the general idea is that you hang out with your SO, meet another couple, and talk. If you like each other, you switch partners, then go off to the hidden areas and fuck.

That seems to me to be a little boring, on two levels.

1) If you’re going to fuck in private, why go to a club with open fucking area? Isn’t the point to be open? I guess not; maybe people are shy. Not shy enough to wander off for obvious back-room sex, but too shy to do it in front of people. Along the same lines, I don’t mind if my SO wants to fuck another man or woman, but surely I should at least get to watch? No? Sheesh.

2) Apparently, in the common areas, all these clubs are hot on straight and lesbian sex. But man on man they require go to a back room. What if I’m just licking the guy fucking my wife? No, too weird, back room. It’s like even among the open-minded sex perverts, a little man on man is still to revoltingly taboo. Do they allow it? Well, they say, they don’t DISallow it, as long as it happens out of sight. Yeah, I’m going to pay $200/night to be relegated to a back room. Not.

So once again, the answer for us seems to be finding a compatible couple, and (eventually) bringing them back to our place (and our playspace) for some deviant sex away from the judging eyes of prudish swingers.

I’m not saying we might not try the places, just for the experience, but there doesn’t seem to be a lot for us to do there. We’re not really interested in straight swinging (each going off with a different partner of the opposite sex), so… dunno. Boring.